


The Girl and her Sailor

by blacklipstick



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, But James is her friend, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Gentle Kissing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kissing, Lizzy just wants to find Will, Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Nightmares, Scruffington for the masses, Talking, and she wants his help, jk I am so sorry for mistakes lol, mentions of the hurricane, no risk no fun, not beta'd because I'm just that punk rock, scruffington
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:48:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacklipstick/pseuds/blacklipstick
Summary: "There was a little girl once. One day she met a young man, a friend of her father. He was terrific sailor and she’d beg him for stories of his travels whenever he came to visit. And when her father wasn’t listening, the sailor told her stories that made her eyes widen with fascination and she listened. Sometimes he’d bring her little presents, sometimes he smuggled books about pirates in for her to read. He taught her how to ride a horse like a gentleman because she just wouldn’t stop begging. He was her friend, her only friend.”It's already dark when James finds himself on deck of the Pearl, all alone and with a nice little bottle of rum. Too bad Elizabeth has other plans and maybe the both of them just needed a friend.Written for the #trashman2kchallenge on Tumblr <3
Relationships: James Norrington/Elizabeth Swann
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35
Collections: Trash Man Challenge





	The Girl and her Sailor

**Author's Note:**

> Ahoy!
> 
> I'm happy you decided to read my little story about my favorite trashman. I do apologize for any mistakes, I tried to get this out before university work becomes too much and I don't manage to finish in time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it anyway!!
> 
> This was written for the #trashman2kchallenge (thanks @trashmenofmarvel for starting the trashpile <3) with the prompt „You shouldn’t put your faith in me. In the end you will only be disappointed.”
> 
> Thankfully we are not living in a time where you can get sued for fanfic anymore but I just like to say it. None of these people belong to me, if they were James would be alive and happy, sailing the seven seas with either Sparrow or Elizabeth.

The Pearl had become quieter and quieter as the sun slowly sunk into the horizon and when the music ceased and most of the sailors had retired to their bunks in a drunken stupor, James Norrington was the only one left on deck. Not even Gibbs who usually made sure everything was in order at this hour was anywhere to be seen. And James was glad about that, he did like the sailor surprisingly much but he couldn’t stand his pearls of wisdom right now. He was leaning over the railing, a bottle of rum in his hands and listening to the faint sounds of the ocean beneath them.

It was a clear and peaceful night, barely any clouds to be seen and wherever he looked there was water, no land in sight. He was staring at the cold darkness, thinking about what the sea was capable of and not even the moonlight reflecting on the gentle waves could ease that dreadful feeling growing inside of him by the second. His mind was filled with images of sailors screaming, of dark waves swallowing them whole, of falling, of the cold darkness around him, filling his lungs till he couldn’t breathe anymore, not knowing where up and down was. James sighed and raised the bottle to his lips, the taste of warm and stale rum filling his mouth. He had learned to love that burning sensation down his throat, a familiar, almost comforting feeling these days.

He didn’t notice Elizabeth approaching. James was too lost in thoughts and memories and only when she went to stand beside him, making her presence known, he turned to face her. Despite the men’s attire she was wearing, she still bore striking resemblance to the Elizabeth he knew and it was beyond him how anybody could have possibly mistaken her for a man even with her hair tied together. At least her voice should have given her away. And perhaps she looked even more like herself, dressed in these clothes and maybe he knew her too well to judge her disguise. 

She did not say a single word at first, only looked at him and her gaze felt like it was burning right through him. Perhaps with distaste, maybe it was pity, he couldn’t tell anymore. And he stayed quiet as well, turning away again till the silence between them became too much to bear and the faint sound of the calm ocean beneath them made him more uneasy than he would have liked to admit. He was a sailor, he should love the sea as a woman, not fear her! And maybe he did after all, maybe he loved the sea still despite everything she had done to him, despite knowing what she was capable of and what incredible power lay within her. He couldn’t hate her, never. The sea was calling him, had been since he could remember and he was to honor her call every second of his life. “What do you want?” he finally asked the young woman besides him, not turning away from the reflection of the moon in the cold darkness. 

Elizabeth stayed quiet a little bit longer as if she didn’t quite know herself why she found herself on deck alone with him at this hour. Had he not made it clear that he wanted to be alone? Had he not scared her away with his biting remarks? “I want some company.” she informed him at last, her voice soft and quiet. A little glance to his side told him that she had not shifted her focus away from him. He raised an eyebrow and turned his head completely to look at her. 

“Well I do not.” he muttered. There had been a time where he would have given anything for her to willingly enjoy his company just like she had when she was a child and he barely a man but these times were gone now. It felt like an eternity ago even if it had not been. So much had happened, too much. And it would be a lie if he were to say he didn’t love her anymore. Not unlike the sea he would never truly be able to hate her, in a way Elizabeth Swann did remind him of the sea, the power that lay within her. She was wild and stubborn and unpredictable. But Elizabeth had made it inescapably clear that her heart already belonged to the poor blacksmith turned pirate instead. It’s why she was here to begin with, to find the man she loved and it wasn’t him. It never would be, he had accepted it by now. 

James hated that she got to see him like this. He hated that she saw a side of him he had intended to hide forever, a side of him that was weak and hurt and so very unlike the man he had once been. So very unlike Commodore Norrington. He hated that she saw him fall victim to his own pride and that she witnessed him going down the same path so many other good men had before him. Not that he was a good man, he really was the anything but that and he looked down, twirling the bottle in his hand, watching the dreaded liquid move around inside of it. His facade had crumbled and maybe it was time to pay for his sins now. “Got all the company I need.”

Elizabeth let out a slow breath but didn’t say anything about it, yet it was almost as if he could feel her disapproval. What he didn’t expect was to feel a hand on his shoulder just moments later. Her hand, comforting him as well as she could. It was a gesture he had not expected, especially not after he had let his frustration out on her earlier that day. They had been friends before, they had grown apart before but they had never been the people to show physical affection besides the occasional hug. But then again, it was usually Elizabeth who had hugged him first. Suddenly he felt quite overwhelmed, not unlike back when he had made his proposal and it backfired so dramatically. It had been a while since anybody had gotten even remotely close to him and shown him any sympathy whatsoever. Tortuga was not a friendly place, not even the women who sold their services were though he had befriended two of them, bonding over their shared dislike for Captain Jack Sparrow. But besides that the last months had been filled with drunken bar fights and trouble, it all became a blur in his mind. Naturally James had tried to distance himself the minute he first set foot aboard the Pearl alongside Elizabeth. It was bad enough that she had to find him in a pigsty even if he appreciated that she had come for him to make sure he was alright. Instead of trying to be better for her though, he had continued his attempt to numb all possible feelings with enough rum to compete with Sparrow or else he feared he’d go mad with guilt. 

“James…” she sighed but stopped talking for a bit again, staring into the ocean just like he had. “Why are you out here alone?”

“Well, it had been my intention to be alone and empty this very bottle in my hand till I fall asleep at last.” he explained halfheartedly and lifted the bottle to his lips once more. His gaze wandered towards the water again but he could hear the loud, exaggerated sigh Elizabeth let out. “Someone just had to ruin those lovely evening plans for me." 

But just like the Elizabeth he knew and the Elizabeth who knew him more than he’d like her to, she looked right through him. To be honest though, he hadn’t really put an effort in sounding confident in his statement anyway. “I think the opposite is the case.” she told him and sounded rather sure of herself. And she was right, he wanted anything but to be alone. He’d been mostly alone for a long time now and had pushed away those who tried to get any closer. In face he was still doing it or else he wouldn’t have treated Elizabeth like he had. But he couldn’t tell her that now, could he? He couldn’t let his facade crumble even more than it had already. Rather unexpectedly she reached out for his face, gently turning it so he finally looked directly at her and when their eyes met he couldn’t lie anymore. 

“I couldn’t sleep… I can’t sleep.” James admitted to her at last. Of course he didn’t tell her why, didn’t tell her about the nightmares that haunted him. It wasn’t something he talked about, not when he had been a mere child and not now either but then again, who would have listened anyway? His father certainly hadn’t back then, told him to man up but judging from what Lawrence Norrington had spat in his face all those years ago, he had figured his father did not care about him all that much. And when he’d been old enough to have friends to confide in, the nightmares rarely happened anymore and he was to stubborn to admit any weaknesses to them whatsoever. 

Her hand remained on his face and he was almost sure there was worry in her eyes. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

James reached up, rough hands pushing Elizabeth’s gentle fingers away. He wasn’t as gentle as she had been, she was resisting at first and when the only thing reminding him of her hand was the lingering warmth on his face, he looked down after considering his options. "No.” And she seemed to have accepted the answer. 

“Well, I am here,” she began, turning around and leaning back, resting her elbows on the railing now. “because I need your help, James. I know I can trust you and you’re the only person on this ship who can help me.”

James furrowed his brows but didn’t say anything about it. Perhaps if he ignored her she would go away? Whatever she needed his help with - most likely it was about dear William - he wasn’t fit to be of use for her and he had no idea how she couldn’t possibly see that. It stung, felt like a stab in the gut that she still believed the man who he once was to be there while he knew better than anybody else that he wasn’t. But he couldn’t help her, not even if he wanted to and both of them would be bound for disappointment in the long run. He was a penniless drunk now, a man who had willingly joined a pirate crew and his glorious days were long gone. The Commodore was nothing but a distant memory but yet it seemed like Elizabeth refused to believe that. She saw something that wasn’t there, blinded by hope and desperation for the man she loved so dearly. 

But against what he had hoped, she stayed and as annoying as it was, he appreciated it for some reason. She’d always been the stubborn kind and probably always would be. Sometimes it did her good, sometimes it didn’t but it was his Elizabeth nonetheless and he couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He was getting tired, it had been an exhausting day and Sparrow had made sure to make him work especially hard. It was funny though how the captain seemed to assume he didn’t know what it meant to work on a ship, what it meant to work hard in the burning Caribbean heat or to scrub the deck endlessly. James Norrington was no stranger to manual labor, he had started somewhere too. He wasn’t born a high ranking navy officer, he had worked hard for it and especially Sparrow should know that if only the captain could put his childish jealousy behind him for once!

So James turned away from the water and slowly sat down on the blackened wood, leaning back against the railing with an exhausted sigh. Sometimes he thought he could almost feel the Pearl as if she were alive and it made him understand a little better why Sparrow liked her so very much. The Pearl truly was a magnificent ship, if only she wasn’t in the hands of a pirate but then again he supposed she belonged to Jack and he belonged to her. With Sparrow, he corrected in his mind. He wouldn’t fall for it again, wouldn’t let himself get closer and think fondly of the goddamn pirate captain who ruined his life! He rubbed his eyes and patted the floor besides him, an invitation for Elizabeth to sit down too. 

She did, hesitantly so at first but it was almost as if she knew that he needed her company a little bit longer even if it didn’t last. He had missed her. James took a deep breath and drank from his bottle again as if that would somehow help with what he was about to admit to her. He didn’t know why he did it, he never had the intention to rub it into her face how far he had fallen. “Every time I try to fall asleep it feels like I’m drowning.”

“So you would rather drown yourself in a different manner?” she asked drily, her big eyes staring at him innocently in the faint light of a lantern. 

“Elizabeth, don’t.”

“Why not? You think me naïve? You think I don’t understand how harsh the world can be?”

And something bitter inside of him wanted to tell her that he indeed thought so, he wanted to spit into her face that she knew absolutely nothing of his pain and that her efforts were completely and utterly useless. He let it slip past his lips before he had the chance to properly think about it, his emotions winning over rationality. “Yes.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she stood up to leave and he immediately realized his mistake. He had carelessly offended the only person who did not seem to hate him just yet. But he couldn’t let her leave, he hadn’t truly meant it and he reached for her hand, looking at her with hopeful, almost pleading eyes. And only when she sat down again, he let go of her hand as if he’d been worried she’d leave for good now. Had she truly wanted to leave, he would have let her. “My apologies, I should not have…”

This time it was Elizabeth to remain silent, to ignore him. She didn’t even acknowledge his apology at all. 

“They’re back.” he blurted out, gripping the bottle in his hands till his knuckles turned white. Elizabeth was among the few people he’d ever told about what happened to him as a child and the nightmares that only ceased a few years later. Elizabeth had still been a child herself then, telling him about bad dreams she kept having so he told her about those he had when he was a kid in attempt to make her feel better. He doubted she remembered it but at the time she had been overly happy that a man like him had been a kid scared by dreams once too. She had hugged him and told him how glad she was that it meant she wasn’t weak. James couldn’t blame her for not remembering, in fact he barely remembered it himself had it not been for the hurricane stirring up things long forgotten. And Elizabeth looked at him with complete and utter confusion on her face. “The nightmares. You won’t remember, I told you when you were a mere child.”

"Oh.“ Against his expectations her eyes actually widened with realization. "They never told me the full story of what happened before you left. Of course there’s been talk but you know Port Royal. Rumors spread like wildfire and in all honesty I was busy with other things… wedding preparations, a useless effort in retrospect.”

“I made a mistake, a horrible mistake and it didn’t just cost me my ship and my commission. It cost lives of good men.” He brought the bottle to his lips again, ignoring the shame because what did it matter now anyway? It helped, it took the pain away and he could finally feel the warmth from inside and the exhausted numbness spreading over him like a blanket. And the world started to spin a little but he was used to that feeling by now and he laughed bitterly. “Even the best men, even the strongest ship cannot win against the ruthless power of the sea. I was greedy for honor and the satisfaction of catching Sparrow at last. I had become reckless, thought I was above her but the hurricane took everything and I was reminded again that in the eyes of the sea, we are nothing but ants. We couldn’t win. Funny, honor was the first thing I lost.”

Elizabeth didn’t quite acknowledge what he had said. She took his hand instead, squeezing it tightly and it felt entirely more comforting than any words could have ever been. He couldn’t tell if she was feeling sorry for him or if it was sadness he saw in her eyes. At the very least she wasn’t angry at him, didn’t openly blame him and he was glad about that. “You don’t look well.” she noted, a slight worried undertone in her voice and she reached out to gently brush the strands of hair that were falling in his face away.

“Charming as ever.” he said, a voice dripping with sarcasm and rolled his eyes dismissively. 

“Don’t be silly James, you know what I mean. I’m just… worried.” She admitted as she tried to brush away a particularly stubborn strand of hair that just kept falling back till she gave up and let it be. 

He’d always told himself that under all the grime and mud, there was still some of himself left but the truth was that whenever he tried to comb his fingers through his hair, he was surprised at how long it had gotten and got stuck halfway through. The truth was that he couldn’t remember when his beard had grown either and that his clothes - or what was left of them for that matter - hang much more loosely on his body than they had before. The truth was that there were bags under his tired eyes, that his face was flushed and that he bore more scars than he had before his venture into the foul place that was Tortuga. The truth was that he had been in denial. 

“Don’t be. I did it to myself, it’s my fault I-” but James didn’t get to finish his sentence. 

“Oh would you stop it!” Elizabeth exclaimed, more annoyed than worried now and straightened her back. “We’ve all had bad things happen to us but it’s in the past now so could you please stop wallowing in your own self-pity because I need you James. I need the James Norrington I grew up with, the James Norrington I admired once. I need his help.” And for a brief moment she didn’t look like the strong, put together woman she was growing into but a girl, alone on an adventure and worried for love of her life. 

James wanted to defend himself but he knew deep down that she was right. Or perhaps he was too drunk to think clearly by now, who knew. But what he knew for sure was that he didn’t have the energy to fight with this woman and he didn’t really want to either. “I know you’re hurt Elizabeth. I know they took away the man you love but don’t think you’re the first person to be heartbroken before. And Elizabeth?” He offered her his bottle but she shook her head. “I trust you will find him again because this his how the story is supposed to go and I can assure you that I am not a part of it." 

"But what if you _are_ a part of it?” She asked him and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I will find him with your help! You saved me once and you can help me now because you are the only person aboard this ship I can truly trust.” Her voice had become more and more desperate as she spoke to him. 

“You shouldn’t put your faith in me. In the end you will only be disappointed.” he told her more calmly than he thought he would. And the words felt heavy as he spoke them, as they fought their way out of his mouth and it made him feel sick to say but it was true. Perhaps there was a time where he would have helped her right away but now he knew that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t. She was strong enough to do it on her own and she didn’t need the help of a penniless deckhand who drowned his sorrows in rum or whatever he lay his hands on. James reached up, his free hand finding it’s way into her soft hair as he tried to comfort her. “You always did it, saw me as something I am not. A good man.”

A few moments passed, maybe it were just a few seconds, maybe it was several minutes, he couldn’t quite tell. He was more focused on staying awake and keeping the sickness he was beginning to feel at bay. 

"There was a little girl once.“ she began and her voice sounded almost choked. He didn’t dare to look, was sure he wouldn’t be able to handle it if she were to cry. "She didn’t have a lot of friends, especially none that shared her interests but adventures and pirates were deemed unsuitable topics for a little girl anyway. Not that it stopped her from dreaming. One day she met a young man, a friend of her father and he was so determined and brave, she was taken aback. He was terrific sailor and she’d beg him for stories of his travels whenever he came to visit.”

“Stop.” he whispered, a pained expression on his face but she continued as if nothing had happened. 

“And when her father wasn’t listening, the sailor told her stories that made her eyes widen with fascination and she listened. Sometimes he’d bring her little presents, sometimes he smuggled books about pirates in for her to read. He taught her how to ride a horse like a gentleman because she just wouldn’t stop begging. He was her friend, her only friend.”

The story had brought a little smile to his face, made him feel warm inside like no amount of drink ever could despite the pain it had caused him as well. Sometimes he forgot about all those little things, her childhood he had played such an important role in back in London and later in Port Royal. It all seemed so distant and so very far away but it was good to know she remembered. It was good that she had made him remember. Elizabeth then hesitantly reached for the bottle James was still holding, gently trying to take it from his hands but he didn’t want to let it go. His fingers remained close and she pried them open one by one and set it aside, looking at him with that sad glimmer in her eyes. “I know that he’s still there.”

“He’s not.”

“Liar." 

And she turned his face towards her, their eyes meeting in the dark on a god forsaken pirate vessel. This wasn’t how the story was supposed to go, it never had been. He was confused more than anything when she leaned in closer and closer and maybe it was the alcohol impairing his judgement but he kissed right back when she placed her soft lips on his no matter how improper it was. It was only a brief kiss, didn’t last very long and when she pulled away, she hastily stood up and hurried away, back to where she had come from but not before looking back one last time. "The girl missed the sailor a lot. Maybe for a little while she even loved him back and she meant it then and she means it now. Her sailor is a fine man.”

With that she was gone again and James was left sitting on deck in the middle of the night, all alone with only the rest of his rum keeping him company and he wondered if it all had been a dream or a hallucination after all. If only her taste didn’t linger. It ripped open old wounds and he tried to flush it away as he downed what was left in his bottle and staggered back inside as well and fell asleep at last. _He didn’t dream that night or at the very least he couldn’t remember._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you like.


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